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Comcast is running a series of television ads here in Chicago. I’m not sure if Comcast is running them nationally or not. This gist of the ads is that Comcast is so darn Comcastic that their customers would rather do something really unpleasant (i.e., re-marry their ex-husband or run naked down Michigan Ave.) than give up their Comcastic service.

Well, after being without my Comcastic high-speed internet for the last three days I’d like to suggest to our Comcastic overlords two additional things that I’d rather not do than give up my Comcastic high-speed internet.

One: Wait in line at a Comcast service center in an attempt to exchange my modem.

Two: Wait around for Eleven hours (calling Comcast five times and talking to three different supervisors) for a technician to show up.

I’m mostly going to ignore the service center. The only reason that I was there is that on Sunday my Comcastic representative told me that he’d have someone out on “Monday.”

“That’s tomorrow right?”

“Yeah. Ten a.m.”

Well, “Ten a.m” it turned out was a window between ten and one. And “Monday,” it turned out, meant Tuesday. So, after waiting around for three hours on Monday, only to find out Monday meant Tuesday, I decided to run to the service center to exchange modems in the vain hope that that was the problem.

The Service Center is pretty close nearby me, so I figured it wouldn’t take too long at all. Even better, when I got there, there were maybe twenty five people in line in front of me and there were four Comcastic employees at their windows. This should be quick.

Well, apparently Comcast only hires people that are too slow to work for the government.

Oh well. I eventually got my new modem. Tried it out. It didn’t work. I’ll have to wait until tomorrow morning.

It wasn’t until the last few days that I realized how addicted I’ve become to the internet. How much a part of my life it is. So when I woke up on Tuesday morning I was like a little kid at Christmas. Peering out my window waiting for the Comcast man.

Eleven a.m.: Nothing

Noon: Nothing

Ten after One: No one’s showed up so I make my first call of the day. “Oh, sir, I’m really sorry about that. I just talked to the technician, he’ll be there at 2:30. I’m also going to give you a $25 credit.”

Three p.m.: Nothing. So I called my Comcastic representative to see what the deal is. The first person I talk to says that he’ll have to reschedule me for Thursday. But he can give me a $20 credit. “No good.” I said. “Let me talk to your supervisor.” After being on the phone from 3 pm to 3:45, the supervisor finally promises that she’ll have someone there by 4:15. And I get another credit.

Quarter to Five: Nothing. So I called my Comcastic service number again. “I’m really sorry. We’re going to have to reschedule you for Thursday.” No good. Let me talk to your supervisor. “I don’t have supervisor.” You don’t have a supervisor? “Well, I have someone who sits next to me, who is like a supervisor.” (Apparently she stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.) “Let me have her call you.”

Quarter to Six: “I just talked to the technician’s supervisor. The technician will be there at seven.” “And I can lower your bill and give you another credit.”

Eight p.m.: My Comcastic technician arrives.

So, after waiting for ten hours, about two of them on the phone with Comcast, all is right with the world.

I wanna say that everybody I spoke with at Comcast was exceedingly nice. The tech was competent. Its simply that, for all of the complaining about their Comcastic customer service over the last few years, they’ve done nothing to improve it.

How do you run a business like that and make a profit? Oh yeah, you become a monopolist.

Share your Comcastic stories below.

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